There are lots of new things in my life... New state. New room. New authorities. New friends. New mentors. New schedule. New food. I'm adjusting. It's interesting, fun even. But every night I think "Tomorrow I can tell mom..." fill in the blanks. And then it hits me. Mom isn't in the next room. She isn't just down the hall. She isn't just away for a few days. This is kind of permanent. Yeah, sure I can call her or email or whatever, but it isn't the same.
I think "I wish TAT were here. She could help me pick the right outfit to wear. She's always so empathetic. She would know how homesick I am and be able to help." but she's even farther away than mom. I miss C's wisdom. Anything I ask her, she has an answer, or can help me find one. But the wise one is heading away from where I am at a rate I am not comfortable with. I think "I wish Brit could be here. We have so much fun. She is the funniest person." and I get even more lonely and homesick.
But, among the homesickness, there is a knock. A gaggle of giggling girls have seen my name on my door, noticed they haven't met me yet, and decided to introduce themselves. I smile, say "Hullo" and "No thanks" to the offer of snacks and pop. Back in my room, door closed, drying my hair, hearing another knock. I toss my towel on my bed and rush for the door, no use keeping them waiting, whoever it is. The RA, checking in, saying she doesn't mind if we circulate after "lights out" this first night.
Sweet. Caring. Accepting. Introducing. Loving.
And something else hits me. Yeah, I'm a long way from home, in a new environment. I may be nervous, and maybe a bit scared. But they care here. They know it's new and frightening and they do their best to alleviate that. So you aren't overwhelmed. So you can learn and meet and change and grow in a safe, loving place.
So, sure, I'm scared and nervous and homesick. But I know these people care. And more importantly, God cares.
Mom... Don't worry too much. I'm all right. I'll grow. I'll change. And I'll know you guys will always be there for me.