I have realized that I pull myself out of the haven that is sleep with a chain that I sometimes find too heavy to heave...
For a moment in time, I have no control of my thoughts. I find myself saying things that later I have no memory of.
And as I heft this burden of "NOOOOO!" out of this dark restful pool, I find myself hating >insert thing that startled me awake here<...
I can feel this hatred for the mere moments (though it seems like hours) it takes to fight my way to the dry ground of rational thought and... alert awareness.
And when I feel this, when I recall it later in the day, I make myself sick to my stomach.
I've decided to make a conscious choice before I fall asleep at night.
I will wake up with a good attitude.
I choose to not be angry that I have to wake up. It was a choice I made that got me here, to that moment, to that seven o'clock hour that makes me angry.
I chose to accept this job.
So here are my conclusions:
1. God has given me the opportunity to have a job and have an income.
2. I don't hate my job. I actually enjoy my job immensely.
3. I may even choose to wake up earlier so I can have my devotions in the morning instead of the evening.